oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
