You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
