I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Damn victory sex feels great
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
