He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want to have your abortion
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We're too hungover to prance.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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