Cold hands, warm shart.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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