a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
