if you like me you must not know who I am
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
