The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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