Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
