It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
