So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize