Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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