you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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