So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
