...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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