so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
