I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
