I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
