i would punch a child for taco bell
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
