Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This is the high leading the old right now
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
