question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
