i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
