i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it was like eating out sand paper
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize