Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
