Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
