**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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