If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
