I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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