Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
