Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
