I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize