...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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