Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
