The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize