i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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