so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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