Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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