he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
