I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm at about main and main street
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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