Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
