I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
