If that was your dad, he is hot
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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