I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
