i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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