Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
