Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
