After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
