So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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