The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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