There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
