It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
