I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
