She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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