I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
