why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
