Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
