If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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