yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I skipped work to stalk him.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We have so much sex to catch up on
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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