well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
