Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize