You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dicks are not precious.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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