She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
