she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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