I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
