I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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