Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
