she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She's the barista slut.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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