She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
