proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
