Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
