Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
