Yo dont text me then not text me
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
