Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
