Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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