Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
