She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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