I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
