I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize