I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
