Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
