Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
